Seeing Tony Danza Live
Before Going In
I don't even know where to begin with this one, since Tony Danza is from a world I have absolutely no involvement in, so how did I end up interested in seeing this show?
Well, I've been bingeing a lot of old sitcoms lately, that's how. It started with I Love Lucy, Green Acres, and Beverly Hillbillies as a kid. Now as an adult, I was wondering why I ever stopped as I'm trying to wean off YouTube, so I've since gone back to it. It started with Frasier, and finishing that, I learned about how it was a spinoff of Cheers, well, finished Cheers, found out a lot of the same people who made Cheers made Taxi, and I'm still on it as of writing this post. Taxi also interested me because that was where the legend himself, Danny DeVito, was really able to kick off his career, still going strong to this very day.
Obviously, nobody ever thinks while watching a sitcom, let alone a 40+ year old one, that they'd ever have the chance to see these people. Among the main cast, Andy Kaufman (Latka Gravas), Jeff Conaway (Bobby Wheeler), and J. Alan Thomas (Jeff Benett) have unfortunately passed away, with more on the way as time cruelly marches on.
If I had a favorite character, I'd have to pick Bobby Wheeler, as his inflated ego hides deep insecurities at not having "made it" yet as an actor, which makes for a solid concept even if not executed to its full potential.
As for Tony Danza's character of, well, Tony Banta, the most I could say about him is that if there's anyone who should show up if you look up "himbo" in the dictionary, it should be him. Tony Banta's particular flavor is his laid-back vibe where he's just happy to be wherever he is. He never particularly stood out to me, but the show would feel real empty without him to go along with whatever the gang cooks up.
Tony Danza's biggest role was as Tony Micelli, playing a lead role as a live-in housekeeper (a manny) in Who's the Boss. From what I can tell from watching part of an episode, they basically cloned his Taxi character for it. Him being the lead in a successful show with an 8 season run guaranteed he'd be a household name, if they didn't know already with Taxi as a cult hit.
This was all I knew about him, and a lot of time has passed since then. I did wonder how he must've changed personality-wise. The himbo thing, it only works when you're young... Right? (And this is what we call "foreshadowing.")
But whatever, it's not something I thought about too hard. And then during my lunch break, I was absentmindedly scrolling through jazz shows in my local area (as one does), and my jaw hit the floor when I saw his name show up. He'd be in my city in 4 DAYS! Doing JAZZ! I've been to the venue once before, it's a very intimate space which would guarantee you being within maybe 40 feet of him. The only remotely famous person (if you can call him that) I've been near has been a politician.
No. Just no.
So while I didn't grow up with him or anything, I bought that ticket so fast. And I was curious, how would it be seeing him with nearly 50 more years under his belt all of a sudden? Would it be disorienting? Would he be recognizable? His page also mentioned he sings, plays ukulele, and tap dances. How does that work? At the time of Taxi, most of his experience was as a professional boxer, so the music stuff must've came later.
I was excited now, the potential of what could happen buzzing through me like electricity. How would it go? Would I be able to talk to him? What would I say? "Hey I only learned about your existence 4 months ago, but you're awesome"? Well I would come to know my answer soon enough.
The Show
So after work, I drive to the venue and arrive an hour early. I was seated at a table the last time, but with this show, I was only able to grab a bar seat, which was actually not that horrible since I was able to chat up the bartenders since I was by myself.
Time moved slowly, until it didn't and the lights dimmed when the time came. The band was onstage and setting up, but there was no Tony.
Eventually, the MC walked up to the stage giving some announcements and thanking us for keeping live performance alive, then bringing his focus to Tony and how he had just come in from New York yesterday. Okay, but where is he??
"And without further ado... Tony Danza!"
The past hour I was trying to figure out where he'd emerge from. My bets were on the corner in front of me because people were walking in and out of there, but as I'd find out, that was where the bathrooms were. The answer would emerge when he did, running right by me from behind onto the stage. Darn, it was the opposite corner.
It was so weird seeing him, but not in the ways you'd expect. He's 74, no duh, but he didn't hold himself like he was AT ALL. He acts and sounds the exact same as he did when I saw him on Taxi. It was the voice and the inflection of a young man coming from an old one. If you closed your eyes, you wouldn't have been able to tell the difference.
So the answer as to what happens when himbos grow up... I didn't consider the possibility that some just don't?
I had watched The Outsiders (the musical), and while I don't have enough significant things to say about it for its own dedicated post, I thought about the core message of it: to "Stay Gold." There's a whole poetic meaning to it, but ultimately it's about striving to stay pure, to refuse to let the trials and tribulations of life snuff out your spark. That was Tony.
He had the same sense of wonder about the simple things and the crazy places life can take you, talking about his past and cracking jokes. While there's no doubt fame must've gotten to his head (happens to the best of us), it didn't seem like it made him jaded at all in the long-run. I mean, he's doing what he loves in small venues, this isn't the move of someone who's pretentious.
His whole vibe had me hooked.
I'm trying to make a habit of bringing a notepad to these things, just because I want to retain as much of what I hear as possible and get a general chronology of the show for later reference. I also figure it makes me stand out in (hopefully) a good way. I didn't think it'd actually work though, but it must've!
So, go back in time to when he runs up to the stage: he opens up with a music number, and his singing voice was really good! The song was (How Little It Matters) How Little We Know.
He gave some observations on our city and touring with his band, saying that maintaining goodwill with them is "all about the hang." Once again, it feels so weird hearing this coming from a man his age! Luckily, Tony would remind me of his Boomer-ness when he told a couple jokes, the kind with the classic setup and punchline that took me back a few decades.
He lives in Manhattan, which surprised me as well because he wasn't where every New Yorker goes when they get old: Florida. Probably because he lived in LA for a number of years, so he had enough pleasant weather to last a lifetime. Okay, very youthful so far... And then I get hit with the reminder that he's old again when he talks about having grandchildren. The guy talking about "the hang" has grandchildren! And then a double whammy talking about how he has a senior citizens' discount on the New York Subway. I STILL can't get over it.
A lot of his material is talking about how much he loves New York, and a specific observation about it is something he calls "the brush," where you're opposite another person, a head-on collision is imminent, and then at the very last minute, you swivel to the side to let one another through. I myself am not aware of this mythical dance between New Yorkers, as I'm still at the infantile stage of bobbing side to side with the opposite person until we end up settling on a different direction. Truly, I have much to learn.
By the way, he DOES sing between these, and in such a song, he tap dances! I couldn't see it from where I sat, but there was a platform... Which explains why he was constantly tripping because he's got the mic cord and stuff to worry about, he's singing, and he has a ledge, and it's a lot. Anyway, I love tap dancing, so it filled me with joy whenever he did a tap solo. Fun fact: his last name means "dance" in Italian, so he got to live up to his name for all of us.
He was telling us that he didn't have any formal musical training growing up, nor was he particularly interested in anything, but his mom was SUPER into Sinatra. In those days, he explained that being on a major sitcom was HUGE in the day because there were only three channels, and "now, everyone is on the TV, except me!" So when he broke through, of course, it felt really good being famous, but to Tony's mom, unless he could arrange to have her meet her idol, he hasn't made it. And when Sinatra guest-starred on Who's the Boss, he was able to fly her out to meet him. He said the way Sinatra treated his mother, it was as if she was the only person in the room. He even gave her his handkerchief, and he said he admired that.
But when he was talking about that first bit about not being interested, he realized something that he put in such an amazing way. He said, "In order to be interesting, you need to be interested."
I got to hear about his opinions on the current state of music. He said didn't have anything against rap, but "you can't hum it when you get old!" As if to show us that he's down with it, he did this fun little rap solo. It sounded very 90s, but he gets full points.
Then he talks about the Broadway musical he was in, Honeymoon in Vegas, and a rough plot synopsis about it that you can look up yourself. He played a character named Tommy Korman who lost his wife to tanning too hard—yes, seriously. The female lead looks inexplicably like her, so he tries to woo her... With a ukulele!
Now, Tony's right hand seemed like it was experiencing an arthritic flare-up, which meant it didn't have much mobility. Outside of feeling really bad for him, I figured we wouldn't get the ukulele as was promised... BUT WE GOT THE UKULELE! And it was beautiful.
He did some ukulele covers of other classic songs, and set it down to wrap the main portion of the show with more Sinatra.
He opened the show to dedications, and someone asked him to do a dedication to her friend as it was her birthday, so he sang this sweet, copyright-free birthday song for her.
Then he did a couple encores that sent us standing up to applaud him.
The Aftermath
This has been the part I've been mulling over ever since it happened. I usually avoid eye contact with performers while performing, so I never noticed him looking at me, and I only ever saw him engaging with the people immediately around him anyway. He'd ask us to applaud the staff a couple times, including the bartenders, and since I was sitting right in front of said bartenders, at the very least he saw me that way.
As he stepped down, he walked into the tables to talk to some select people. I knew he would be walking by me as I was along his route out, so in the random chance he did talk to me, I wanted to be ready. I had a napkin on my lap that I realized I dropped when I had stood up, and I was frantically looking for it. When I straightened up again, he was talking to the group of people immediately next to me. Oh god.
He was clearly finished once he spoke to them, so I was thinking "Okay, well that's it, then," but as he continued walking, his eyes turned to me, he was turning to me! Oh my gawd, it's happening! And he touches my left wrist. I shake that arm and try to turn it into some semblance of a handshake with my available hand, all the while he told me "Hey, you helped me a lot," and he was gone before I could finish my shocked reply of "ReALLy???" As far as I know, I was his last stop.
It all happened so fast, I didn't even get to process it. The only thing I actually remembered was feeling the bandage that was wrapped around his hand when I "shook" it, so I know it happened. This is all just my best guess with what I can recall.
I was giddy, of course. I closed my tab and I headed home. He noticed me! But on the drive home and into the next day, I started thinking about what he heck he meant by "you helped me"? And I helped him "a lot," apparently. It was undeniably positive, but rather cryptic in the moment.
With the perspective sleep gives you, I think I figured it out. Something I neglected to mention earlier was how he joked a lot about how people at the tables were more focused on each other than him. My naive self at the time was thinking "Well he said 'just joking' afterwards so it was obviously a joke!", but perhaps not. It wasn't just a prank, bro.
What I'm getting at is that he must've appreciated me paying attention. The performers I've seen either don't bother or don't have the chance to acknowledge it, so getting that from entertainment veteran, even briefly, means the world.
Oh, and during the show, Tony mentioned Rocky III offhandedly. I've since forgotten what the joke even was about, but I think it was that one of the servers liked it. Well guess what? In the batch of Taxi episodes I watched that next day, Tony Banta had a line about how Rocky III was his favorite Rocky movie. The sitcom that led me to wanting to see his show also sent it off, in a way.
I don't know what was going through his head, but if Tony really did have an off-day that night, he still killed it and made my week. And if Tony ever happens to read this—because I can now say stranger things have happened—I just want to thank him for being himself. He helped show me that you can be happy, successful, and with a very fulfilling life that way.
Or to put it more simply: he helped me a lot.